Do Children Write Thank You Notes Anymore?

As it turns out, I am also a mother of three young kids.  Every year after Christmas and birthdays we have small skirmishes around writing thank you notes.  While they usually are game for the first couple of notes, their enthusiasm wanes before the job is done.  Typically I get them to write a few a day until they are all done.  This year I am happy to report that my oldest daughter is helping my three year old with his notes (very cute!)

The other issue I have with children writing thank you notes is that it seems like my children are the last on the planet that are forced to do this and I can’t understand why? Writing thank you notes teaches gratitude and it is a good way to support writing at home. Plus, it is good form.

Here is a list of suggestions to help children write their thank you notes from Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee:

1. Preplanning: Before gifts are opened, have a paper and pen ready to write down who gave what to whom. This “reference” is a must if many gifts are received or gifts were given to more than one person.

2. Have a variety of materials at hand to make it more fun: interesting stationery, colorful markers and pens, stickers, rubber stamps and inks.

3. Don’t make it seem like a chore or like “homework”. Let the kids listen to music or watch TV (keep the volume low) while writing or drawing, as it doesn’t take a lot of concentration.

4. If there are many notes to write, spread it out over several days. It’s unrealistic to try to get children to sit for long periods, and they will only learn to resent writing thank you notes.

5. Help them compose the note or drawing if they get stuck for ideas. Kids will be more inclined to write or draw if they know you’re taking an active interest.

I think these are excellent guidelines.  I used to have my older kids draw or paint pictures when they were very small to use as thank you notes believing that it is the process and intent rather than the product that is important.

The Kids’ Guide to Writing Great Thank-You Notes also fleshes out this topic.  It might be nice in the family library to be used as a reference twice a year.