Do Children Write Thank You Notes Anymore?

As it turns out, I am also a mother of three young kids.  Every year after Christmas and birthdays we have small skirmishes around writing thank you notes.  While they usually are game for the first couple of notes, their enthusiasm wanes before the job is done.  Typically I get them to write a few a day until they are all done.  This year I am happy to report that my oldest daughter is helping my three year old with his notes (very cute!)

The other issue I have with children writing thank you notes is that it seems like my children are the last on the planet that are forced to do this and I can’t understand why? Writing thank you notes teaches gratitude and it is a good way to support writing at home. Plus, it is good form.

Here is a list of suggestions to help children write their thank you notes from Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee:

1. Preplanning: Before gifts are opened, have a paper and pen ready to write down who gave what to whom. This “reference” is a must if many gifts are received or gifts were given to more than one person.

2. Have a variety of materials at hand to make it more fun: interesting stationery, colorful markers and pens, stickers, rubber stamps and inks.

3. Don’t make it seem like a chore or like “homework”. Let the kids listen to music or watch TV (keep the volume low) while writing or drawing, as it doesn’t take a lot of concentration.

4. If there are many notes to write, spread it out over several days. It’s unrealistic to try to get children to sit for long periods, and they will only learn to resent writing thank you notes.

5. Help them compose the note or drawing if they get stuck for ideas. Kids will be more inclined to write or draw if they know you’re taking an active interest.

I think these are excellent guidelines.  I used to have my older kids draw or paint pictures when they were very small to use as thank you notes believing that it is the process and intent rather than the product that is important.

The Kids’ Guide to Writing Great Thank-You Notes also fleshes out this topic.  It might be nice in the family library to be used as a reference twice a year.

For Borrowing a “Cup of Sugar”

Thank you Note #3 - To my neighbors two doors down who lent me half a cup of oatmeal New Year’s Eve so that I could finish the pear crisp without having to go back to the store! I finally got more oatmeal and sent a note back with what I had borrowed.  I am lucky to have neighbors I feel comfortable enough to ask for help in a pinch.

(Although, it is funny that this doesn’t happen more often?)

The first Two

Finally the new year has arrived and I can start my resolution as I have been thinking about it for a month! My plan for the first few weeks is to start slow with the obvious Christmas related thank-yous and work my way into harder areas.

Thank-you #1:  Our long time friends Mitch and Cindy who celebrated the New Year with us and brought us all sorts of fun holiday gifts.  What I’m really thankful for, however, is our long, long friendship.  Life would be so much less without them.

Thank-you #2: My sister and her family who host the annual Christmas feast and shower us with holiday gifts.  My favorite this year is a rolling ice cream maker ball that we can take camping. Frankly, I almost bought it for her for Christmas!

Two down, 363 to go!

Sandbagging

It is almost time to start my project and I have to confess that I feel like I am sandbagging a little.  Since opening my Christmas gifts, I have been delaying writing my thank-you notes so that I will be able to use them for my New Year’s Resolution.  My rationalization is that I will need a little extra help to get going.  One thank-you note per day (or seven per week) is going to be a challenge.  I imagine just finding addresses to send the notes to will become an issue. 

I have been collecting supplies ~ i.e. thank you notes. I have been thinking a lot about it lately: “Who would I thank today if I were going to send a note…” Often I think, “I wonder how I would get the note to them?” I guess we’ll see ; )

First Day of Christmas

Our first day of Christmas plan was for me to give one pint of blood.  Thankfully, the lady who drew my blood hit the vein on the first try - although she had to wiggle it around a little!  She happily informed me that I have almost donated two gallons just as I was remembering how much I dislike giving blood.  My daughter read pop-culture magazines to me while I dripped into my little pint bag and then joined me for cookies and juice.

Our second day of Christmas plan is to buy two cups of coffee for the people behind us in the drivethru lane of Starbucks.  I would have picked a local-type coffee shop but the drivethru offers more annonymity and is convenient.  My daughters love to hide out and watch the expressions of the people who find out they just got a free cup. I will need to pull the girls out of school for lunch for this little escapade, but - this is what holiday memories are made of, right?

Runner-Up Resolution

If I had to pick a runner-up resolution it would definately be to eat only local food on a regular basis. Perhaps I would pattern it after one of my kids favorite stories, “Chicken Sunday”, where every Sunday is a family meal and a place to connect. So, I would plan Sunday dinner around only locally grown foods. 

 Living in Colorado, I bet I could do it - even in the winter.  Yesterday at the store, the regular grocery store, I found butternut squash from Colorado, and dried beans from Dove Creek, Colorado, without really looking.  I bet with a little determination, I could come up with one dinner a week with little problem.

I have been reading Barbara Kingsolver’s book, Animal Vegetable, Miracle.  It has been a great winter read and has me dying to plant a garden as soon as the snow melts.  In the book, she and her family try to eat only local food for an entire year.  Similar to the 100-mile diet people in Vancover, Canada, they chronicle their experiences with the added bonus of their adventures farming an old Virginia farm, and of course, Barbara’s excellent writing skills.  I had to wait months to check this book out!!

One of the primary points in the book is that eating food flown in from around the globe has a tremendous cost in energy. The taste suffers, the biodiversity suffers because only shippable varieties are being grown, small farmers can’t compete and are going out of business, etc. etc. 

Anyway, if I didn’t already have a resolution for the year - eating Sunday dinner - Local Food Sunday, would be it!

Twelve Days of Christmas

Since I have a little time before my thank-you note project begins, I thought I would share what our family does for the Twelve Days of Christmas.  Each year we sit down and brain storm ways we can help the world for Christmas.  Because we have a really small budget, we usually have to get creative.  Here are our plans for this year starting on Dec. 13th:

First Day of Christmas: Donate One Pint of Blood

Second Day of Christmas Two cups of Coffee sent unknowingly to the
 person behind us in the drive up lane

Third Day of Christmas Three people protesting the War in Iraq – a
 Saturday picketing event we have wanted to do

Fourth Day of Christmas Four plates of cookies to local assisted living
 home

Fifth Day of Christmas Five craft bags full of stuff for bored kids in the
 hospital delivered to the nurse station

Sixth Day of Christmas Six Bus Tokens at a bus stop

Seventh Day of Christmas Seven spring bulbs planted along the walking trail

Eighth Day of Christmas Eight apples to teachers

Ninth Day of Christmas Loving nine kitties at the cat shelter

Tenth Day of Christmas Ten balloons passed out at a Mall

Eleventh Day of Christmas Eleven anonymous Holiday wishes ~ cards on windshields

Twelfth Day of Christmas Twelve goodies for the animals by decorating an
 outside tree with edibles- like they do in one of our favorite holiday
 books: The Night Tree

My kids have loved this activity and look forward to it each year.  I think it is a lovely antidote to the seasonal consumerism.

The Rules!

It seems like as I am driving into work lately, I have been hashing through the nitty-gritty details of the resolution.  Such as: Does an email thank-you count?  Can I thank the sun for shining? Can I thank my husband once a month at least for being so wonderful?

Answer: No.  This project is designed to connect with people not inatimate objects and in a personal way, hence the old-fashioned hand written letter. Also, it seems like cheating to thank someone more than once, doesn’t it?

Here are the rules as they have accumulated thus far:

Resolution Rules

1. 365 Thank-you notes in 365 days

2. Not necessarily 1 per day

3. Only one thank you per person

4. No work thank you notes (letters you are required to write as part of your job)

5. No back-handed thank-yous (i.e. thanks for not messing up the country more)

6. No sappy thank yous looking for something in return

7. Handwritten only, no email thank yous

8. Must be to actual people.

The Benefits of this Resolution

So why bother with all the time, stamps, and gnashing of teeth?  What are the benefits; why should I even bother?

First, I am hoping this will help me focus on all that I have and all the people in my life who have helped me, been kind, or have done a really good job. Simply put: I think writing thank you notes will help me feel thankful.

Second, I think this project will add to the world.  I am hoping that the people who receive my notes will feel appreciated; they will feel like someone else noticed their actions or kindness.  I am hoping their will be a ripple effect similar to that described in pay it forward - only on a smaller scale: a ripple effect of intention.

Third, I am hoping to convince other people to join me and thereby, increase the impact of telling people thank you exponentially.

Top Resolutions and Tips for Sucess

According to Gary Ryan Blair, from the www.GoalsGuy.com, who surveyed 300,000 people, the top ten New Year’s Resolutions are:

1. Lose Weight and Get in Better Physical Shape

2. Stick to a Budget

3. Debt Reduction

4. Enjoy More Quality Time with Family & Friends

5. Find My Soul Mate

6. Quit Smoking

7. Find a Better Job

8. Learn Something New

9. Volunteer and Help Others

10. Get Organized

       To me, these all seem to be very BIG goals, and  a little daunting.  They are vague and tough to measure. It is no wonder that such a large percentage of people who make New Year’s Resolutions fail.

From my own experience, I have found that smaller, more concrete goals are easier to achieve.  I also believe that small changes can be hugely impactful.   For example, I would like to feel more gratitude - to understand how fortunate I am.  Therefore, I will resolve to write thank-you notes.

I prefer SMART goals as described by Aristotle.  S.M.A.R.T. goals are

• Specific,
• Measurable,
• Achievable by you,
• Realistic, and
• Time framed.

This fits my 365 Thank-you notes in 365 days perfectly!